So there’s this track. It’s called “I Found a Monster.” It’s by Seth Schaeffer, and listening to it is a bit like being emotionally waterboarded by your inner child. You know, the one who’s still mad you never learned to skateboard and occasionally dreams in grayscale. But, weirdly, in a good way. Like therapy, if therapy was scored by Hans Zimmer and mixed by a ghost.
“Monster” is dramatic. Like, end-credits-to-The-Road dramatic. The kind of song that plays after humanity’s last fire goes out and the screen cuts to black. You can almost see the slow pan over a ruined Earth as Schaeffer belts his heart out about making peace with the part of you that eats your confidence for breakfast.
It doesn’t start so much as materialize, like fog in a horror film or your worst memory resurfacing during a team meeting. There’s atmosphere. There’s tension. There’s what I can only describe as “emotional reverb.” It practically dares you to take it too seriously. Which, fine. I did.
And yes, it can probably a bit much. There are moments where the intensity of it almost turns into parody, like you’re suddenly the main character in a tragic sci-fi opera written by someone who just discovered feelings this morning. But that’s kind of the point. It leans in to being over-the-top. It doesn’t try to be chill or ironic or playlist-friendly. It just full-on emotionally detonates in your ears.
What saves it from collapsing under its own angst is how personal it feels. There’s no lyrical posturing here, no metaphors so vague they could be about a breakup or a sandwich. It’s clear that Schaeffer’s not performing a feeling; he’s processing one. Possibly several. Possibly all at once. And that sincerity gives the whole thing weight, even when the strings swell like a disaster’s just been narrowly avoided. Essentially, this is not your typical pop song. Rather, this is a reckoning, wrapped in synths.
“I Found A Monster” could’ve easily veered into the realm of Spotify-core melodrama: minor chords, breathy vocals, emotional clichés the algorithm eats like snacks. But instead, it swings for the fences and mostly connects. Even when it gets a bit overwrought, it does so with enough authenticity to make you forgive it. Like a friend who cries too hard at movies but always means well.
This is not background music. This is not for brunch. “I Found a Monster” by Seth Schaeffer is for staring into the abyss at 1 a.m. while your reflection blinks first. It’s overwrought. It’s theatrical. It’s a lot. But in a music landscape allergic to sincerity, sometimes being too much is exactly enough.
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About the Author
A tenured media critic known working as a ghost writer, freelance critic for publications in the US and former lead writer of Atop The Treehouse. Reviews music, film and TV shows for media aggregators.
